Big Brother is Spamming: Salami & Orchids' first follower, the young woman who I have decided will be my Gayle King should I ever become rich and famous, had to close her Twitter account last week because it was hacked by some sort of spammer that actually sent me an "@landofgilli" (LandofGilli) tweet and also sent out a general tweet. How creepy is that? Assuming her password wasn't "Password" who takes the time to hack someone else's account just to post some spam? Or if it was a machine, what the hell? It scrolled through every combination until it hit? My passwords are now going to be the maximum length with letters and caps and punctuation...
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Bleeding Gums Murphy: Those couple of teeth that are probably fractured (Show Me Your Teeth) are killing me slowly. Now they're starting to ache more often...I retrained myself to eat so I don't touch them, thereby avoiding the lightning strike that is biting into something with them, so now I don't know for sure if it still hurts that badly and I sure as death don't want to find out. God, I need a job.
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In the Land of the Blind...: How awesome do 24 hour, 30 day contacts sound? What does that save a month, 58 insertions and removals? And you only have to buy 12 pairs a year! I get away with wearing my two-weekers for a whole month so I can make do with only buying a 6 month supply, but I still have to take them out every night because they get too dry otherwise. Preliminary cost analysis sets them about even-- hoooooly crap. That's probably about as close to being normal-sighted as I'm ever going to get without surgery.
OH, and can I just say that people sound like morons when they say "I'm legally blind without my glasses"?! Being "legally blind" means that your vision is worse than 20/200 WITH CORRECTIVE LENSES. WITH. Having vision problems without corrective lenses just means you need corrective lenses. See? Pun intended, damnit.
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Honesty in Advertising?:I saw a commercial the other day for Crest Invigorating Mouth Wash. I'm pretty sure "invigorating" is a euphemism for "burns like whoa".
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Pointless Whine: For some reason my "G" button has been deciding not to work, so every time I use it I have to make sure that it actually appeared where I wanted it to. It's extremely annoying, and I just wanted to complain
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Herbert: Herbert and I talked for almost 5 hours very early this morning... we've both been so sick and I've been so depressed so I'm reaching out to him but it's hard for him to respond because I can't be relying on him so hard to pull me out of these funks, and he doesn't want to encourage my being even more emotionally attached to him because we disagree so much on marriage and children. Part of me wants desperately to meet someone else and to fall so incredibly in love with them that the Herbert thing becomes irrelevant...but part of me knows that even if that does happen it won't change the fact that Herbert and I truly have incredible chemistry.
I just need to accept the fact that when Herbert says he loves me he doesn't mean what I mean when I say I love him, and there's no hope of anything changing between us any time soon.
I just wish it didn't hurt so much.
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A Series of Shocking Surprises: I was at Dunkin Donuts the other day and the cashier gave me 3 free donuts when I was only buying 2, for a total of 5 donuts. Just for me. Fat admirer, much? And who'd've thought free donuts would ever be annoying? Not me. Don't get me wrong, I ate the hell out of them, but that's not the point.
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Pop Into: Orville Redenbacher popcorn is vastly superior to PopSecret. PopSecret uses larger kernels which, while producing a nice, fluffy popped-- what's the singular of popcorn? Is it still kernel?-- piece, it leaves bigger bits of shell to get stuck in your teeth and gums. I read that microwaving a bowl of water before you microwave popcorn helps produce fluffier pops because of the increased humidity. I love popcorn because anything that's a vehicle for butter is fine by me.
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Ever wonder what Bitchface from The Internship From Hell looks like?
Augrah from The Dark Crystal. I'm not exaggerating as much as you'd think-- it was absolutely the first thing that came to mind the first time I saw her. Bitchface was just paler and with cheap black hair dye.
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Posts to Anticipate: Etsy's Hobogate or "Faux-Bo" Controversy, My Guiltiest Pleasure, and an analysis of Fight Club from an angle that, believe it or not, hasn't already been analysed to death. In fact, preliminary research for this particular post has proven...slim. It should be good, if I don't screw it up.
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