Fireworks Daughter

Short post today because I'd like to get my Fight Club post up tomorrow. 

My father, Dan, The Fireworks Man, began shooting fireworks before I was born. He was a member of the prestigious Garden State Fireworks company throughout the 70s and early 80s. He stopped when his friend died, which seems to happen to my dad a lot. 

He has a show today with the company he joined about ten years ago, International Fireworks. I wanted so badly to go to the show tonight, I even gave up hanging out with Blanc for it, because the I.F. warehouse wants to get rid of their stock of 16 inch shells and tonight's venue is one of the few places that's possible.

The larger a shell is, the larger a firework is, the more space you need around it, legally and logistically, space without people or trees or structures. The National Fire Protection Association's code number 1123, the regulations for fireworks displays, requires a minimum viewing distance of 70 feet for every one inch of shell size. So for the 16 inch shells they need 1120 feet of space. 

That's a radius of 1120 feet. You need almost a half of a mile for these things to be launched safely. The largest shell my father's ever seen lit was a 12 inch-er in a show he did. He said that it left a 4 foot circle on the ground, that it pulled all the grass surrounding it towards itself for four feet. The shells they want to launch tonight are four inches larger. 

Average shows consist of mainly three to six inch shells. The biggest shells in average shows are 8 inch-ers, and there's usually only a dozen of those, if that. 

I hope they don't do it. I hope it's not tonight. For one thing, it's a gigantic fucking bomb they want to light, three times the size of the bombs they usually handle. And because I rrrrreeeaaaallllllllllyyyyy wanted to see it, but I'm not well enough to go. 

Good show, boys. Come home with all of your fingers and toes. 

Dan, the Fireworks Man

This morning my mother had a colonoscopy (I had one last month, they're not nearly as bad as they seem, really-- and incredibly important. Early detection saves lives.) and my father was in the waiting room and talking to a guy he used to work with. Another woman in the waiting room says to my father (after the guy he used to work with left), "I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhearing you're a plumber."
And my dad says, "Yeah, well, I was but I'm retired now." 
She goes, "And you're reading The Grapes of Wrath?"
So my dad says, "Yeah. My daughter got me a book on the Dust Bowl for my birthday, she knows I'm a history nut, so I was curious about this." 
She says, "And you shoot fireworks?" 
And he says, "Yeah, I do." So they start talking about fireworks and stuff and my dad notices she's taking notes, and she says she's an author, and this is a great background for her next book- so they start joking about royalties and stuff and my dad asks if his name could be in the book and she says, "Absolutely- Dan, the Fireworks Man.  A plumber/pyrotechnician I met in a doctor's office while he was reading The Grapes of Wrath." 


My dad says it's not believable. I think it's awesome. 


SO. I also had an appointment with my stomach doctor today...turns out I lost 12 pounds in a month, so I have the Internship from Hell to thank for that-- so maybe there was some good in there other than experience. 


Unfortunately my doctor wants me to try lactose-free so there goes 75% of my daily caloric intake...maybe I'll lose some more weight from that. I just hope that either the lactose-free or the new pills he gave me will take care of the pain and stomach distension. I mean, really, I'm down to 185 and my clothes don't fit because my stomach is so huge. It's supremely annoying. 


Ooooh, new feature on Salami & Orchids: The Great Job Search!! The unemployment rate in New Jersey as of May 2011 is 9.4% (See?), so good freaking luck to me. I haven't really been applying since the Internship from Hell because I've been recovering my body (sleep and food are delicious...), life (renewing library books, forbearing student loans, sending my TOMS back [just a wee bit too small! I got a receipt confirmation, though, so I should be getting ones that fit before August], etc.), and confidence (I lost $400 dollars on the deal with travel and stuff. I soooo don't want to get burned again, and I certainly can't afford it!). 


So yesterday I applied to a photography studio, a local arts and crafts store, and a local pharmacy...more today, and there's a few I'm going to have to mail in resumes for, like a clerical thing at the courthouse. 


I really love the word courthouse. 


Also, another aspect of the Internship from Hell coming back to bite me, my Kindle's all fucked up...here's hoping it just needs to be charged. But maybe it got knocked around while I was taking it to New York? The trains and stuff were awful crowded, and who knows what happened to my purse while it was in the office when I wasn't...augh. 


Speaking of annoying, you know when your system updates and you get those pop up messages, "Your thingy will restart in 15 minutes...Restart Now or Restart Later" and it keeps coming up every once in a while? Annoying as hell. 


So now I'm off to send in more applications...anybody want to be a reference?