What Kind of Day Has it Been?

I love days like these...rainy, nothing to do, nowhere to go days. Tomorrow I should probably do a few productive things (defer student loans...order GRE study book...make doctor's appointment...work on room reorganization...shark substitute assignments online...), but not today.

I miss having days like this in college...the girls and I would drink coffee and play games. Those are the days I miss most. It's what we did when Gayle threw that party for Lisa a few weeks ago and it was the happiest I'd been in a long time.

Today was Manny's first day of school, hard as it is to believe. I got a little teary over the picture of him wearing a backpack and holding a lunchbox Mick posted on Facebook this morning. My mother was there when he got home from school...she said he was as unfazed about it as he is about everything...and he's been placed in a classroom with other special needs kids, with two teachers and an aide, but I'm still worried-- we don't know what Manny's place on the autism spectrum is and whether the school is equipped to deal with it. The whole deal is frazzling my nerves.

I've been distracting myself with Regretsy and Facebook games...A&E On Demand...and setting up another blog to publish a trashy novel I've been playing with off and on for a few years-- then maybe others, I don't know, I'll have to see how the first one does if I ever get around to biting the bullet about it. In the meantime I'm going to play with the design templates and ponder about whether to write one or two stand-alone "About" pages.

I'm watching Intervention and this 30 year old girl is sleeping with a 75 year old man that pays for her drugs. Umm...I can deal with that if somebody would pay my bills. How often can a seventy-five year old want it? Damn. Well...what, 68, technically, in my case? Shoot. Steve Martin's 66 and I'd totally hit that. Kevin Kline's 64. I'm game.

Old, wealthy men: pay my bills and I'll seriously consider dating you. Cute, old, wealthy men: pay my bills and I will probably date you. Cute, wealthy men: pay my bills and I will definitely date you.

Just putting it out there. Like that challenge to Microsoft that my 5 year old computer is waaaay better than anything new coming out now. Seamus the Lappy forever.

Today's pain has gotten harder to deal with as the day has gone on...I've got an ultrasound coming up on Thursday. I'd tell you to cross your fingers for me, but I don't know what to hope for. Especially since I don't understand what an ultrasound could see that a CT scan couldn't. If I've already had a more detailed test for the same person, why order the weaker test? Part of me just wants them to cut me open already and dig around to find out what's going on...be sure, whichever doctor I see first (my GYN or new GP), I'm getting painkillers at my next appointment. Be. Sure. I'm not going through another cycle of this pain, I'm not. I don't care what it takes.

And poor Herbert's so sick and nobody knows what to do with him...

Tension headache. Hahaha, this was supposed to be a relaxing post-- what happened?!

Category 1 Saturday Summary

Category 1: It's just raining here in Jersey, still, things won't start to get interesting for a few hours, yet. Arthur and Janet live in Maryland, between the ocean and bay, so we're pretty nervous about them but we've been in touch throughout the day and they're just getting wind and rain so far. Gayle lives in an area that has been evacuated, but she says as far as she knows nobody's been leaving...Mr. Yikes, the father of the man I was named after (The Name of a Hero) lives in another evacuated county three blocks from the ocean and like, 1.5 from the bay and he's refusing to leave.

Lots of reason to be nervous. Especially since I heard the wind and rain pick up as I typed this. Again, no knowing when the next post will be as New Jersey has already been designated a federal disaster area before the storm even got here, and massive and long power outages are likely. Nothing to do but wait.

And take pictures. I just started documenting now as the wind is starting to get stronger and gusty. (4:30 pm, Eastern)

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Nostalgia Gone Wrong: Have you ever seen those old timey newspapers you can get printed for, generally, older people? Well, old-timey as in they're the person's actual birthdate's local newspaper? I saw an older gentleman reading one the day I went to visit Gayle. He was sitting in front of me so I was reading the reflection of it in the window from my seat. I like doing that. Anyway, I thought it was weird, because it's not like they remember anything from then, it's not like they can be nostalgic, remembering when that story about the bank robbers was a big deal because they were too busy being born that day to look at the paper. Maybe if they got copies from like, their 5th birthday or something, it might spark some memories.

Like, I remember clearly that Operation Desert Storm started on my 3rd birthday, January 16, 1991, because we were having my party in the kitchen and my mother yelled at my father because he was watching TV instead of joining the party. And I remember the TV was all in shades of green because they were showing night-vision footage, so for me that newspaper, or even the day after, would be a memory for me. You know, people dying and stuff.

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Intelligent Design: Returning S&O fans will notice some changes in the comments and that the background no longer looks like the childhood bedroom of Jackson Pollock's daughter.

It turns out that Blogger/Blogspot's commenting system seriously sucks. Comments aren't threaded or threadable and difficult to manage, so I switched to DISQUS commenting which looks a lot better now that the bugs are straightened out, like when the comments' font color was automatically set to the background color, rendering the comment itself invisible and the thing wouldn't let me change it. Tyler at DISQUS is awesome and I'm thankful for his help straightening all this out.

And yes, the background is much more sedate and not so vomit-y. I'm still struggling with the header, though, it and I are having it out. I'll win. Eventually.

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Intel Inside: Have you seen those Windows commercials where they're like, "Susan doesn't think she needs to update her 4 year old computer, so we built a PC store in her house!"

Seamus here, my laptop, is 5 years old and still as awesome as they day I got it. Yeah, people need to update, but don't be silly with this every couple years crap. You don't fool me for a second.

(Think it worked?)

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Mad Me: Talking about popcorn again.

I think Orville Redenbacher is missing out on a major selling point of their pop-up bowl idea. It's really convenient and I enjoy them and use them, but they're not telling people the hands-down best part of the whole deal.

The top and bottom panels of the bowl are transparent. You can actually watch the popcorn popping when it's in the microwave instead of just on slow-motion YouTube videos. How do you not mention that to people? "Not only does the bag turn into a bowl, but you get to watch your popcorn actually popping!"

I should go into advertising.

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The wind and rain have died down again. (5:00 pm, Eastern)

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Corporate Slime: They're seriously making a Charlie's Angel's TV show. A new one, I mean. Why? For the life of me I can't figure it out. I can't understand why executives, because that's who I blame, do these things. What does this say about us? No wonder the world thinks America has no culture of its own, it can't stop copying off itself for two minutes. The best revamp so far is the latest Star Trek movie, but damnit, that's even more of a continuation than anything else...

I know for a fact there are people with legitimately original ideas in the world, in this country. I have to put my faith in the fact that art will find its way through the muck but...it's still a depressing state of things. (Point Blanc)

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Not Depressing: Another from the wonder that is mental_floss: Pygmy Shetland Ponies!!!

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( 5:30 pm, Eastern) Arthur and Janet lost power.

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A Little Project Runway: And I wanted drama! Holy crap. Ugly, ugly clothes and ugly, ugly people. I'm very disappointed that Josh turned out to be such a douche, I was beginning to really like him.

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Clever Girl: Disney is re-releasing The Lion King in 3D for a couple of weeks, which is such a great idea for them. Take a classic, a movie people love, and put it in a format that people hate so you know for sure it's the format of the movie people don't like instead of it possibly being just the movie itself. Clever. Problem is it's still not going to go well, because even if people liked those stupid glasses or things cheesily popping in your face like Star Tours or Muppet*Vision 4D, it's waaaay too expensive now.

It's a valiant effort, though, Disney.

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Last Complaint: Anyone else notice the trends on the Food Network anymore? Two in particular: lemon and panko breading. Yes, a little lemon can really brighten up a dish, and yes, panko breading is wonderfully crunchy-- but holy crap, they're putting whole lemons into every single recipe anymore. It's just too, too much.

And I do enjoy panko breading from time to time, but let's be honest, it cuts your mouth like ground glass. Or Captain Crunch.

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Upcoming Posts: Just "English Food I Miss" and Hurricane Irene pictures. Please feel free to send your own images and stories to plummyjo@gmail.com

What Not to Say

So sorry about the lack of posting these past two days. 


Sunday I tried to post from my phone, using texts, but blogspot didn't mention in the feature that oversized texts couldn't be posted-- which is why, if you tried to view posts I made that day, they were gibberish. I've deleted them. 


So Sunday I was visiting with Gayle and a couple of our other friends as Lisa had come up from Florida. It was a great time, and I really love my friends, but it was a very long day for me and I've been recovering. Hence the non-postage. 


This has been floating around for a while and was posted recently on Deb's Fibromyalgia Blog, and here it is at Care2. I don't think it could be stated any better, and I kind of want to make a line of T-shirts and tote bags with this list on it- "If You're Thinking About Saying ANY of These Things to Me, Please Don't"...or taping it to my bedroom door for my parents to see every day. And I understand and appreciate if you're just trying to help, but sometimes help can really hurt (and we're in enough pain as it is!):


10. We all get more aches and pains as we get older.

The pain of fibromyalgia is much more severe than the normal aches and pains associated with aging. Little things that shouldn't hurt at all can be excruciatingly painful. Plus, most people develop FM long before they should be experiencing age-related aches and pains.

9. I think I have that, too – I'm always tired.

This statement shows a basic misunderstanding of the severity of the fatigue associated with FM. The fatigue of fibromyalgia is so much more than just being tired. It is an all-encompassing exhaustion. You are drained of energy – like someone pulled your plug, cutting of your source of power. It's kind of like taking the batteries out of the Energizer bunny.

8. My friend has fibromyalgia and still manages to work. Maybe you just need a job (hobby, etc.) to take your mind off the pain.

Translation – you must be lazy. The fact is, the severity of FM symptoms varies. Some people have fairly mild symptoms and are able to continue working. Some continue working longer than they probably should because they have no other choice, but they suffer tremendously. Others are so disabled they are confined to a wheelchair much of the time. While getting involved in a project can help to distract your mind from the pain for short periods of time, if you have a more severe case, it doesn't work well enough to allow you to consistently work a 40-hour week. And it doesn't help dispel the extreme fatigue that usually accompanies FM.

7. My doctor says fibromyalgia isn't a real disease; it's just a wastebasket diagnosis.

First of all, this doctor obviously hasn't kept up with the latest research, which clearly demonstrates that FM is a very real, physical disease. Also, to date the FDA has approved three medications to treat fibromyalgia and they generally don't approve medications for imaginary illnesses. There are a few doctors who will tell patients they have fibromyalgia if they can't figure out what is causing their symptoms and just want to get the patients off their back, but I have to question the ethics of a doctor who would do that.

6. If you got more sleep, you'd feel better.

Well, duh! One of the major problems with fibromyalgia is that something prevents the body from going into the deepest stage of sleep, when the body naturally restores and replenishes itself. Even if you manage to stay asleep for several hours, you're most likely not going to awaken feeling refreshed. And most sleep medications do little to help you achieve that deep sleep. They may help you get more hours of sleep, but probably will still not give you the deep sleep you need.

5. I read about this new product that cures fibromyalgia.

This can be one of the toughest comments to deal with because it is usually said by well-meaning friends or relatives who genuinely want you to feel better. The products are frequently some kind of “natural” supplement being sold through a multi-level marketing plan and are very expensive. If those making the suggestions are casual acquaintances, I generally just tell them I appreciate their concern and will look into the product. However, if it's someone closer to me who is likely to keep asking if I've tried the product, I go on to explain that there are dozens of products out there claiming to cure or at least improve FM and I just can't afford to try them all. Read Let the Buyer Beware for tips on how to evaluate product claims.

4. At least it's not fatal.

My first thought in response to this comment is always, “Yeah, but sometimes I wish it was. At least then I'd know there was an end to the pain.” I rarely say that, though. Of course I'm glad it's not fatal. But that doesn't help reduce the level of my pain or the depth of my fatigue. Nor does it help to raise research funding or bring attention to the needs of FM patients. Understandably, people tend to be more interested in preventing death than in improving the quality of life. Maybe I should start actually saying what I'm thinking when someone makes this comment. At least it might get their attention.

3. You just need to exercise more.

Often this is another way of insinuating that you're lazy. This comment in particular has always bugged me. Perhaps it's because I used to be a dancer and aerobics instructor. If more exercise were the answer, I'd be all over it. Yes, exercise is an important component of any fibromyalgia treatment plan, but it's only one part and it has to be approached slowly and carefully to avoid triggering a flare. Read Fibromyalgia and Exercise for more information on how to incorporate exercise into your FM treatment plan.

2. But you don't look sick.

This comment puts the FM patient between the proverbial rock and hard place. If we let ourselves go and show how we actually feel, people are uncomfortable and don't want to be around us. On the other hand, if we manage to fix ourselves up and put on a brave face, no one realizes we're sick. If you think about it, most chronic illnesses are invisible. My dad had heart disease but looked great until the moment he died from a massive heart attack. My mom had pancreatic cancer but looked fine. She didn't even know anything was wrong until it was too far gone to treat. She didn't “look sick” until the last couple of weeks of her life when she was confined to bed. Just because someone doesn't have visible sores or a crippling deformity doesn't mean there's not a serious illness just under the surface.

Ta Daaa...... Here it is - the number one thing you should NOT say to a fibromyalgia patient:



1. It's all in your head.

This is the all-time worst and most insulting thing you can say to someone with fibromyalgia. I used to launch into an explanation of how FM is a very real physical illness, complete with symptoms, etc. Now I simply say, “You're right, it is in my head. Researchers have found that there is a problem with how my brain processes pain signals.” Enough said. 




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Really, all this can be summed up in just one: trust that the patient knows more than you do. 


And now it's time for a nap!

Sunday Summary!!

In no particular order...


Big Brother is Spamming: Salami & Orchids' first follower, the young woman who I have decided will be my Gayle King should I ever become rich and famous, had to close her Twitter account last week because it was hacked by some sort of spammer that actually sent me an "@landofgilli" (LandofGilli) tweet and also sent out a general tweet. How creepy is that? Assuming her password wasn't "Password" who takes the time to hack someone else's account just to post some spam? Or if it was a machine, what the hell? It scrolled through every combination until it hit? My passwords are now going to be the maximum length with letters and caps and punctuation...


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Bleeding Gums Murphy: Those couple of teeth that are probably fractured (Show Me Your Teeth) are killing me slowly. Now they're starting to ache more often...I retrained myself to eat so I don't touch them, thereby avoiding the lightning strike that is biting into something with them, so now I don't know for sure if it still hurts that badly and I sure as death don't want to find out. God, I need a job. 


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In the Land of the Blind...: How awesome do 24 hour, 30 day contacts sound? What does that save a month, 58 insertions and removals? And you only have to buy 12 pairs a year! I get away with wearing my two-weekers for a whole month so I  can make do with only buying a 6 month supply, but I still have to take them out every night because they get too dry otherwise. Preliminary cost analysis sets them about even-- hoooooly crap. That's probably about as close to being normal-sighted as I'm ever going to get without surgery.


OH, and can I just say that people sound like morons when they say "I'm legally blind without my glasses"?! Being "legally blind" means that your vision is worse than 20/200 WITH CORRECTIVE LENSES. WITH. Having vision problems without corrective lenses just means you need corrective lenses. See? Pun intended, damnit. 


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Honesty in Advertising?:I saw a commercial the other day for Crest Invigorating Mouth Wash. I'm pretty sure "invigorating" is a euphemism for "burns like whoa". 


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Pointless Whine: For some reason my "G" button has been deciding not to work, so every time I use it I have to make sure that it actually appeared where I wanted it to. It's extremely annoying, and I just wanted to complain


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Herbert: Herbert and I talked for almost 5 hours very early this morning... we've both been so sick and I've been so depressed so I'm reaching out to him but it's hard for him to respond because I can't be relying on him so hard to pull me out of these funks, and he doesn't want to encourage my being even more emotionally attached to him because we disagree so much on marriage and children. Part of me wants desperately to meet someone else and to fall so incredibly in love with them that the Herbert thing becomes irrelevant...but part of me knows that even if that does happen it won't change the fact that Herbert and I truly have incredible chemistry. 


I just need to accept the fact that when Herbert says he loves me he doesn't mean what I mean when I say I love him, and there's no hope of anything changing between us any time soon. 


I just wish it didn't hurt so much. 


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A Series of Shocking Surprises: I was at Dunkin Donuts the other day and the cashier gave me 3 free donuts when I was only buying 2, for a total of 5 donuts. Just for me. Fat admirer, much? And who'd've thought free donuts would ever be annoying? Not me. Don't get me wrong, I ate the hell out of them, but that's not the point. 


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Pop Into: Orville Redenbacher popcorn is vastly superior to PopSecret. PopSecret uses larger kernels which, while producing a nice, fluffy popped-- what's the singular of popcorn? Is it still kernel?-- piece, it leaves bigger bits of shell to get stuck in your teeth and gums. I read that microwaving a bowl of water before you microwave popcorn helps produce fluffier pops because of the increased humidity. I love popcorn because anything that's a vehicle for butter is fine by me.


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Ever wonder what Bitchface from The Internship From Hell looks like?

Augrah from The Dark Crystal. I'm not exaggerating as much as you'd think-- it was absolutely the first thing that came to mind the first time I saw her. Bitchface was just paler and with cheap black hair dye. 


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Posts to Anticipate: Etsy's Hobogate or "Faux-Bo" Controversy, My Guiltiest Pleasure, and an analysis of Fight Club from an angle that, believe it or not, hasn't already been analysed to death. In fact, preliminary research for this particular post has proven...slim. It should be good, if I don't screw it up.