So, with the family troubles I got a little behind this week on my planned posts. I'll get to them, just not right now. I may be able to explain the family thing soon, and thank goodness for that because I'm bursting to tell.
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The stress of the family thing is getting to me. I've still got that tension headache and my fibromyalgia pain is out of control. My hands hurt so badly typing this- my fingertips as they hit the keys and the muscles in my hands as I move them to type. Aches run up and down my limbs, my lower back is tied in knots, and the bottoms of my feet are screaming from the knives shoved into them.
Every few minutes a random patch of skin begins to tickle, like there's a bug crawling on me-- an ant, maybe, or spider, but there's never actually anything there. Then every few hours one of the "bugs" "bites" me, a deep, sharp, unrelenting pinch in one random place on my body that doesn't stop until it feels like it. Nothing stops it. I just have to wait. It doesn't matter if I cry out or writhe or try to smack the "bug" away or push on it or brush it away; anything to try to remind the nerve what real sensation is...it doesn't matter.
I can't scratch an itch, change my clothes, or shower because the burning of my skin afterwards...it's like fire. If I forget for a second and try scratch an itch, for example, the patch of skin I scratch burns for minutes afterward.
Can you see why, before my diagnosis, I didn't leave my bed? And doubled in size? Also because this situation makes me crave doughnuts like a fucking lunatic. God, I'd pay...a lot... for a chocolate-frosted cream filled...or a glazed cream filled...or strawberry frosted...or, um, anything, really.
So everything is taking a backseat to that.
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There was fuck all on TV last night so I rewatched The Dark Knight. I forgot how freaking awesome that movie is. Did you know I'm a major Batman fan? Always have been. I used to wake up early every day when I was like, 3, to watch the 60s Batman TV show. My 7th birthday party theme was Batman. I was Catwoman for Halloween one year. The 60s Batman: The Movie was the first DVD I ever bought ($2, baby!). I love Batman. I'm so freaking excited for The Dark Knight Rises, I can't even think about it without smiling, and I feel like hell right now. And I'm smiling.
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Weren't commercials supposed to stop being so loud?
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I need to lay down...more tomorrow, of course.
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